This testimony includes self-harm, suicidal thoughts, addiction and frightening spiritual experiences. If you are struggling, please reach out to a crisis line in your country, a doctor or someone you trust today. What follows is Jade’s account of her own experience, not medical advice.
Jade was driving to work on a Texas highway, weeping so hard she could barely see the road. “I’m all alone,” she kept saying. “You took everyone from me.” Then everything around her turned white, and a man in a robe of light came down to her and said, “Daughter, you are not alone.”
It was not a dream or a vision, she says. She was wide awake. In this episode of the God’s Truth Podcast, Jade tells Abigail Smith about a lifetime of torment, the day she was set free on the side of a road, and the embrace that changed everything. What follows is her account.
A childhood of things no one else could see
Jade grew up in Texas without real discipleship. Her father did not believe, and her mother believed but did not live out her faith. The one exception was her great-grandmother, a Spirit-filled woman who never compromised. When the family visited her house, everyone behaved differently. She would hold up her Bible and tell Jade, “There’s power in this.”
From a young age, Jade saw things others could not: figures, faces, rats she felt crawling on her as a toddler, posters that turned into boulders crushing her during episodes of sleep paralysis. Her mother did the best she knew, taking her to doctors, therapists and hospitals. Jade says nothing seemed to help, and the years brought depression, self-harm, panic attacks and hopelessness. She once tried to throw herself from her mother’s truck on the highway.
She had received Jesus as a child of six or seven in a small Baptist church, and she believes she was sealed by the Holy Spirit then (Ephesians 1:13). But by her early teens she was smoking, drinking, using drugs and sleeping around, and she says each of these opened more doors to torment. She became a mother at sixteen and moved to a big city, where the attention she received pulled her toward a life she now says was leading straight to hell. Still, something in her would not let her go all the way.
“There’s power in this”
One night, in a filthy rented house, her baby son woke screaming and staring at the ceiling. Remembering her great-grandmother’s words, Jade opened her Bible and began to read aloud. Something physically shoved her. In the corner of her eye she saw an evil, mask-like face. From that night on, she knew she was not simply imagining things. The problem, she says, was that the church around her had no answers for spiritual realities.
At around nineteen, wanting to be a better mother to her son, she joined the military to find discipline. Training broke her dependence on drugs and alcohol, but a pornography addiction took their place. It led, she says, to the most terrifying night of her life: she woke unable to breathe, with a hideous demonic figure crouched on her chest. She could not speak. She cried “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus” in her mind, and it vanished.
From tarot to a vision of the dead
Pregnant with her second son, Jade began reading her Bible, journaling her prayers and going to church. But still hungry for the spiritual answers church was not giving her, she started paying online tarot readers and dabbling in horoscopes, manifestation and spells. She thought she could follow Jesus and do witchcraft at the same time. A reading that came true only pulled her in deeper.
Then a great-grandmother she barely knew passed away, and Jade had a dream she says was far more than a dream. She walked on dark water across tangled roots in which people were trapped, conscious but unable to move. At the centre sat a pale, lifeless woman who was herself the tree, holding an ancient book and staring at Jade with hatred. She wanted Jade in those roots, but could not touch her. Jade now believes Jesus was walking with her, as in Psalm 23:4. Further on, she saw her great-grandmother caught in the roots. Without moving her lips, the woman said, “What are you doing here? Get out of here.”
Shaken, Jade stepped away from witchcraft, unfollowed the witches and began watching sermons. But she then fell for a boyfriend who openly kept a satanic bible on his nightstand. When she let herself wonder what it would be like to “go to the other side,” she says she gave God an ultimatum: if He loved her, He would take this man out of her life. Days later, the man broke up with her out of nowhere. She was furious with God, but it drove her into the Word.
Set free on the side of the road
On YouTube, Jade found a deliverance teacher, Isaiah Saldivar, who taught that fear is a spirit (2 Timothy 1:7) and that believers have authority in Jesus’ name. One verse lodged in her heart: “Behold, I give unto you power… over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you” (Luke 10:19).
She repented. She poured every bottle down the sink and threw everything connected to her old life into the dumpster. Driving home from work soon afterwards, she felt a panic attack rising and decided to believe God. “I bind you, spirit of fear,” she declared. “You cannot torment me in the name of Jesus.” A voice told her to pull over. The moment she parked, her body went rigid, she began speaking in a language she had never learned, and she started to scream. Something seemed to leave through her throat as she coughed and retched, just as unclean spirits cried out when Jesus cast them out (Mark 1:26). Then she was free, and on fire. She believes she was baptised in the Holy Spirit that day (Matthew 3:11). Over the next three months she read the whole Bible.
That night in her apartment she felt a heavy presence, and then heard a voice all around and within her: “Do you trust Me?” Weeping, she said yes. She sensed something holy appear above her bed and saw dark shadow figures kneeling before it. Every knee bows to Jesus, she says (Philippians 2:10).
“You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons”
But the fight was only beginning. When friends and family told her she was “doing too much,” and pointed out that Jesus drank wine, Jade started drinking wine with them again. She even felt a kind of bliss she mistook for God, not yet knowing that Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14).
One evening, with a glass poured, she felt the Holy Spirit tell her to go and pray. In a back room, she saw a towering demon pacing in darkness, its eyes fixed on her. Between them stood Jesus, facing her with His arms folded. Jade had never had a father who disciplined her, but she knew at once this Father meant business. Without moving His lips, He told her: “You cannot drink from the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons” (1 Corinthians 10:21). She wept and repented. At the time of recording, she had been sober for two and a half years.
When she began setting boundaries, there was a painful falling-out, and one relationship after another fell away. Jesus said that whoever loves family more than Him is not worthy of Him (Matthew 10:37). Jade chose Him, and found herself completely alone.
“Daughter, you are not alone”
That is where she was on the highway to Houston, sobbing and asking God whether she would be alone forever. Suddenly everything turned a smoky, holy white unlike anything on earth. Out of it a Man descended toward her. He was pure light, His robe whiter than any white, a white haze over His eyes. She heard an audible voice: “Daughter, you are not alone. I am here with you. I love you.”
Then He hugged her. She felt His beard against her face and His arms around her, and something like warm oil flowed over her and into her. She says she could have stayed in that embrace for eternity. Then all of heaven around her, and Jesus Himself, seemed to rush into her chest. “I’m not alone,” she realised. “I have Jesus. He’s here with me and in me.”
It was her Saul-to-Paul moment. From then on, no one could tell her Jesus is not God. She understood what He told Philip: “He that hath seen me hath seen the Father” (John 14:9).
Life after the encounter
Life has not been perfect, Jade says, but it is completely different. The panic that once made every setback feel like the end of the world has given way to the peace that passes understanding (Philippians 4:7). A lost job or a wrecked car is no longer the end. Whatever is taken from her, she trusts God to restore. She no longer sees life from a worldly perspective. Now she wants to spend her life helping others see the truth.
Her message to anyone bound by depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts or addiction is simple: you do not have to believe the lie that you will always be this way. Jesus came to set the captives free (Luke 4:18). Get a Bible, or download a Bible app that will read it aloud to you. Seek Jesus, pray, and ask Him to deliver and guide you.
Connect with Jade
- YouTube: Jade Angels Studio
Mentioned in this episode
- Isaiah Saldivar, the deliverance teacher whose YouTube teaching helped Jade understand spiritual warfare
- John Ramirez, a former Satanist whose testimony Jade watched years earlier
Scriptures in this episode
- Luke 10:19, power over all the power of the enemy
- 2 Timothy 1:7, God hath not given us the spirit of fear
- Matthew 18:18, whatsoever ye shall bind on earth
- Ephesians 6:12, we wrestle not against flesh and blood
- 2 Corinthians 10:5, casting down imaginations
- Psalm 23:4, the valley of the shadow of death
- Hosea 4:6, destroyed for lack of knowledge
- 1 Corinthians 10:21, the cup of the Lord and the cup of devils
- 2 Corinthians 11:14, an angel of light
- Hebrews 12:6, whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth
- Galatians 6:8, sowing to the flesh or to the Spirit
- Matthew 10:37, loving family more than Me
- John 14:9, he that hath seen Me hath seen the Father
- Philippians 4:6–7, the peace of God
- Luke 4:18, to set at liberty them that are bruised
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